Often, what looks like defiance is actually exhaustion. When school feels overwhelming and like life never slows down, some young people can slip into survival mode and find that getting through the day can be tough. Adele’s story reminds us that disengagement is rarely about a lack of ability or care, but that it reflects a young person who has stopped believing that success, belonging or peace are possible for them.
Meeting Adele
Adele first came to the farm when she was aged 13 during a period marked by exclusions, frustration in the classroom and a growing feeling that school simply wasn’t built for her. Adele found it tricky to concentrate and felt her behaviour was misunderstood. Through this, Adele found she began to drift from her education.
“I wasn’t living. I was just getting through the day…waiting for it to get dark again to go to bed”
Her experience echoes that of many young people who just like Adele, have felt overwhelmed at school, rather than reluctant to learn and engage.
The wider picture: disengagement and misunderstanding
Across the UK, more young people are being excluded from school or missing lessons altogether. For many, struggling to sit still or concentrate leads to being labelled as disruptive, instead of getting the understanding and support that could help them succeed.
“it was quite challenging to actually sit in class and be spoken to and told…this is what you need to do…the school structure is not built for everyone and I think myself I realised that when I did come to the farm…I’m not very good in sitting down writing work but I’m very good in like the practical aspect and now…recently I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD so now…it makes a lot more sense that I wasn’t actually naughty there was something a bit more important that was going on.”
For Adele, a later ADHD diagnosis helped to explain years of feeling overwhelmed in busy classrooms. Her experience helps to unmask a wider truth that when environments aren’t set up to meet diverse learning needs, young people can often feel defined by their ‘failures’ instead of their capability.
Disengagement is rarely about a young person lacking potential. More often, it reflects unmet needs, overlooked strengths, or environments that don’t fully enable them to thrive.
What made the difference
At Jamie’s Farm, Adele found a space where she could learn in a way that suited her strengths. Through practical work, supportive relationships, and time to pause and reset, she began to feel understood and encouraged rather than judged.
The hike up the mountain became her turning point. Reaching the top, something she once thought impossible, gave Adele a new belief in herself and what she could achieve.
Taking on responsibility, working as part of a team, and having honest conversations helped her release emotions she had carried for a long time. For the first time in a while, Adele felt calm and able to imagine a different path forward.
“It shifted my whole entire perspective…life is what you make of it”
Adele now works as a support worker, supporting others through challenges she understands and sympathises with deeply.
Listen to Adele’s full story
In this episode of ‘Shift Happens’, Adele speaks openly about her experiences with exclusion, ADHD, and searching for a sense of purpose during a time when school felt impossible and life felt overwhelming.
Her story reminds us that behind what can often be labelled as ‘bad behaviour’, is a young person longing to feel understood and like they belong. Listen to Adele’s full story here.
